Tennis Sh...oot Me

Maxi dresses are in. Tennis shoes with maxi dresses... not in this lifetime. Maybe if you are reincarnated as a blind, dumb, and deaf hobo on a faraway planet, but I'm pretty sure even the local aliens would shun you.

I mean, think about it. Where would you need tennis shoes while wearing a maxi dress at the same time? Maxi dress on a treadmill? Maxi dress doing cross-fit? That's hot. On the plus side, this woman is walking into a clothing store, so in order to sleep at night, I convince myself that she is going to buy a pair of acceptable sandals.

Alexandria: Horizontal Stripes

I'm sure he's a very nice old man, and I guess if you have managed to stay alive for over 60 years, you have some right to rock the beer gut. But please remain content to sport it, rather than let it explode in our eyesight. Horizontal stripes should be just that. Horizontal. If you are getting diagonal rings, then something just isn't sitting right. If you are round in places that should not be excessively round, horizontal stripes will only magnify the situation.

Also, the heat and humidity are out in full force, and for practical reasons, it is generally a better choice to wear clothes that will breathe in the summer, rather than the ones that asphyxiate your pores. Tight is not in right now, and should be avoided unless you are going for the "I'm sweaty and I know it" look.